THE EARMARK

Okay, we admit it:  The above headline is a randomly generated combination of words that got spit out of a computer.  But it turns out that there’s a news story to which it correlates.

It seems that Stephen Harper, the prime minister of Canada (premier ministre du Canada), attended the state funeral of a Catholic governor general (gouverneur général) and was offered the traditional wafer representing the body of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (notre Seigneur et Sauveur Maurice Richard.)  And based on what happened next, let’s just hope the Prime Minister was on Atkin’s or something like that…

Harper, a devout Protestant, attended last week’s state funeral for Canada’s former governor general, Romeo LeBlanc, during which a Catholic priest offered him a communion host.

Television images, some of which have been posted on YouTube, showed Harper receiving the host. The camera remained on the premier for several seconds but it did not show him actually place the wafer into his mouth…

A Catholic official, vicar general Brian Henneberry, raised the controversy by openly wondering what Harper had done with the wafer.

Henneberry, who is chancellor of Saint John in New Brunswick where the funeral took place, said it would be scandalous had the prime minister put it in his pocket.

Our good friend Dennis DiClaudio at Indecision Forever notes that it’s simply un-Canadian to judge a head of state based on whether or not he partakes in an archaic medieval tribute to blood sacrifice; that tends to be the domain of the United States.

But just as Christ died for the sins of others, so too are American politicians covering our allies’ asses in the eyes of the Lord.  As if anticipating that Harper would one day refuse the body of Christ, prominent Catholic leaders like Ted Kennedy, Vito Fossella and Mark Foley have been consuming the blood of Christ at a frenetic pace for decades — all for Canada’s sake, of course.

Praise the Lord for good allies!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has had a rough couple of weeks.  First his soapbox scheme to reject federal stimulus money blew up in his face, rendering him a national joke.  Then he set off for the Appalachian Trail, only to wander off course and end up in South America. Then he came back to South Carolina, admitted to an international love affair, resigned as chairman of the Republican Governors’ Association, and bawled like a schoolgirl on national television.

It’s time we took pity on this poor man by backing off, handing him a live microphone, and allowing him to compare himself to David: King of the Jews.

Here’s the erstwhile thru-hiker in his own words…

What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily, he fell in very very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there.

Sanford followed this remark with a prepared statement, in which he reminded reporters that after David’s own biblical sex scandal, he too served out the remaining 18 months of his term until state law forbid him from seeking re-election…

I remain committed to rebuilding the trust that has been committed to me over the next 18 months, and it is my hope that I am able to follow the example set by David in the Bible - who after his fall from grace humbly refocused on the work at hand.

Although we at The Earmark are happy that Sanford’s confidence and self-image haven’t been even remotely shaken by his own transgressions, we feel that he may have gone to far by likening himself to David: King of the Jews.  Perhaps a comparison to Elliot: Sheriff of Wall Street, John: Bore of the Senate, or Vito: Drunk Driver of Alexandria would have made a better starting point.