THE EARMARK

A new Gallup poll released last week offers both good news and bad news for President Obama.

The bad news?  Obama is statistically tied with a generic Republican in the 2012 presidential election.

The good news?  Many Republicans surveyed believe that “generic” candidate should be either John McCain or Scott Brown.

To rephase: That’s one candidate who’s fresh off a 2008 loss, would be 85 by the end of his second term, and might lose his Senate primary to Atilla the Hun.  And a second candidate who has spent more time buck naked in the pages of Cosmo than he’s spent on Capitol Hill.

Among GOP frontrunners, McCain and Brown trail only Mitt Romney, whose entire governing experience consists of a single term as governor, and Sarah Palin, who didn’t even make it that far.

And that’s your top four: Romney, Palin, McCain, Brown.  This leaves us with just one question:

WHAT, no Ronald Reagan?  Or at least Curt Schilling, Barry Goldwater or Joe the Plumber– all right-wing heroes.  And what about Rudy?  It’s only been nine years since 9/11.  Hell, even Joe Lieberman should be on this list.

As for professional GOP campaigners like Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and Louisiana Robot-in-Chief Bobby Jindal, the message is clear: They’d best either lose an election or irrationally quit their jobs pronto if they plan to be flipping pancakes in New Hampshire come January 2012.

The wait is finally over.

For those of you rapt with suspense in the hours, minutes and seconds that have elapsed since Scott Brown’s swearing in, we have good news: The Senator’s memoir will be here faster than a disemboweled health care bill!  According to Politico…

Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.), the party’s hottest elected official, has decided to write a book that combines memoir and inspiration.

Now some will say that after only a week on the job (half of which was canceled by snow), Brown couldn’t possibly have enough Senatorial insight to merit a memoir.  But think of it this way: Thanks to his 72 hours on Capitol Hill, Brown already has more legislative experience than literary heavyweights Elizabeth Edwards, Andrew Young, Jenny Sanford, and Joe the Plumber– combined!  How could he not write a book?

As of press time, Brown’s is the only memoir to emerge from last month’s Massachusetts special election for Senate.  We’re told former Brown challenger Martha Coakley ruled out writing a one of her own, citing her internal polls that say the public undoubtedly knows everything about her and wouldn’t even need to read it.

As for Brown’s own tome, no official preview has emerged.  Nevertheless, we’re pretty sure the memoir will include…

- Snow accumulation totals since Brown was sworn in.

- What it’s like to ride in an elevator with Sen. Mike Crapo (R-ID).

- The words Wrentham, Massachusetts.

- Something about a pickup truck.

- Tell-all tales of Simon Cowell (via Brown’s daughter).

- Nude photos of the Senator.

And if those aren’t enticing enough, then just buy this book out of societal pressure.  Because although he has yet to vote on any legislation– or even understand any for that matter– Scott Brown has already made his permanent mark in Washington.

At least until the snow melts.