Congratulations, Senator John Ensign (R-NV)! After serving 15 years in Congress without a single notable achievement, you’ve finally managed to make a name for yourself in politics.
Caught with his pants down astride his intern, Ensign is now something of a household name. But his fame wasn’t truly understood until this week, when America learned that the senator’s been inspiring copycats!
Ladies and gentlemen, we give you State Senator Paul Stanley (R-TN). This gay-bashing, abstinence-preaching legislator saw how far intern-related affairs had propelled Ensign and — presumably hoping to make a U.S. Senate run of his own one day — decided to emulate his superior. And since it takes an extra bit of pizazz to get noticed on the state level, Stanley picked an intern who was only 22.
But the similarities don’t stop there, so perhaps a handy chart is in order…
| Scandalous Trait | Ensign’s Version | Stanley’s Version |
|---|---|---|
| Hypocritical Christian posturing… | Lives in a Christian group house that once housed fellow acolytes Mark Sanford and Chip Pickering. | Sunday School teacher, evangelical looking website. |
| Age of illicit intern lover… | Middle aged or thereabouts. Old enough. | 22, and with pictures to prove it! |
| Primary communication with lover’s cuckold… | Proselytizing letter. | Extortionist text messages. |
| Apparently got his affair-fueling money from… | His parents. | R. Allen Stanford. |
We should add that the ever-zealous Stanley went even further to emulate Ensign when he physically assaulted his wife in a garage. The only problem is that he mistakenly copied the wrong Nevada politician. That move is the signature crime of Governor Jim Gibbons.
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