THE EARMARK

Early yesterday morning, U.S. Rep. John P. Murtha (D-PA)  absconded from his earthly legislating duties for a little slice of paradise beyond the clouds.  And no, that doesn’t mean he rode a Lockheed Martin F-35 to John Murtha Regional Airport in Pennsylvania.  It just means he died.  Went to heaven, if you’re a believer.

Now some of you might say that’s hogwash.  Like if you’re Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA), and you don’t believe in heaven.   Or if you’re Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD), and you don’t believe in heaven for Jack Murtha.  Or if you’re a resident of Murtha’s district, and you don’t believe in heaven for Congressmen that support black presidential candidates.

But let’s say Murtha did make it through the pearly gates.  What awaits him?  Well, here are some possibilities for the dearly departed Democrat…

Rest in peace, Congressman Murtha.

This may come as a bit of a surprise, but not every member of our United States Congress specializes in legislating.  Writing the law is a complex task and some minds are better geared toward it than others.  What we’re saying is that there can only be one Rep. John Hall (D-NY).

But there are other skill sets to be found in Congress.  For Rep. Jack Murtha (D-PA), that means taking bribes from defense contractors.  For former Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), it’s taking bribes from anyone.  And for former Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D G-GA)… the special skill set is getting arrested.

McKinney’s most notorious arrest came three years back, when she roughed up a Capitol police officer who mistook her for a tourist.  She got off easy as far as jail time goes, but a sadistic judge still sentenced her to a  year embarrassing herself in a futile campaign for the presidency.

Well now McKinney is back in the news (and possibly jail) with the report that she’d been arrested on a boat in the Mediterranean for roughing up a bottlenose dolphin.  No strike that — she was arrested on the boat for trying to smuggle goods into Gaza…

Israeli forces arrested McKinney and other passengers on board the ship, according to a group called Free Gaza, which said on its Web site that McKinney and the others “have been illegally incarcerated for their solidarity work with Palestine.”

The Israeli Consulate General of Israel in Atlanta, however, accused McKinney and her fellow travelers of waging a “reckless political stunt.”

This isn’t McKinney’s first clash with the Jewish state.  Following an election loss in 2002, McKinney’s father blamed “the J-E-W-S” for her defeat, and in 2006, the head of McKinney’s Black Panthers-staffed security team declared: “Why do you think she lost? You wanna know what led to the loss? Israel. The Zionists. You. Put on your yarmulke and celebrate.” (Or, we presume, put on your yarmulke and punch a police officer.)

Lastly — and this is just an aside — if the Israeli Consulate General is now concerning itself with “reckless political stunts,” it seems to us they might want to relocate from Atlanta to Wasilla, Alaska.