THE EARMARK

The consequences of Ted Kennedy’s death have hit far and wide, from healthcare reform to civil rights to the Washington drinking scene.  But nothing may suffer a more  dire fate than Massachusetts’ blissful lack of moronic ex-jocks running for office.

With Kennedy gone, his unfilled Senate seat has opened the bullpen gates for ex-Red Sox blowhard Curt Schilling to run for office and presumably start comparing trade deficits to ERA…

A day after writing on his blog that he has “some interest” in running for the seat held for nearly 50 years by Democratic Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, Curt Schilling did not back off — and sounded even more determined in considering the opportunity…

A registered independent and longtime Republican supporter, Schilling wrote on his blog that while his family and video game company, 38 Studios, are high priorities, “I do have some interest in the possibility.”

What adds intrigue to the story is that Schilling, by seeking Kennedy’s Massachusetts seat, would actually replace retiring Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY), in order to fulfill the Senate’s quota for old, white, conservative ex-jocks whose primary foreign policy experience was pitching a few games in Canada.  (Or in Bunning’s day, the Dakota Territory.)

Schilling’s resume contains appropriate similarities to Bunning’s — for instance, his heroic World Series victory on a bum ankle rivals Bunning getting attacked by little green doctors.  Still, we won’t be true believers until Schilling predicts a Supreme Court justice’s death, attempts to sue the Republican Party, and loses all of the computer/social media comprehension he currently possesses.

Meanwhile, by this same logic, Bunning’s successor must fill the Ted Kennedy void.  Given that the criteria requires the candidate to be dashing, proudly liberal, ready to party — and, very important, willing to spend a lot of time in Kentucky — it appears the list starts and ends with George Clooney.