THE EARMARK

Remember Ned Lamont?  He’s the cable-TV mogul who beat Sen. Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Democratic primary back in 2006, only to lose to him three months later in the general election.

Well, now he’s back and he’s announced his candidacy to succeed retiring Governor “M” Jodi Rell this November.

Lamont enters the Democratic primary as the nominal front-runner, but other candidates are on the horizon.  How will Lamont repeat history by beating them in the primary, and then losing to them in November?

Opponent	How Lamont Will Beat Him in the Primary	How Lamont Will Lose to Him in the General
Chris Dodd, retiring Senator	Dodd, embarrassed after being forced out of his Senate seat, will fail to rehabilitate his sullied image among Democrats.	Lamont will be caught by surprise when Countrywide Insurance, emboldened by the Supreme Court’s recent campaign finance ruling, donates $50 billion worth of foreclosed properties to Dodd’s campaign, putting him over the top.
Alec Baldwin, actor	Lamont will gain victory by pointing out that Baldwin, despite his frequent candidacy for public office in Connecticut, technically lives in New York.	Confused Tea Party activists, mistakening him for his right-wing brother Stephen, will hand Baldwin the governorship.
Joe Lieberman, Senator	Lieberman can’t resist making an ass of himself, so he will enter and lose the governor’s race.	Patriotic “buy America” fever will give Joe the edge, considering that Lamont drives a Prius and Lieberman is the one thing keeping Chrysler’s PT Cruiser in production.
Paul Newman, deceased philanthropist	Although Newman is a beloved Connecticut icon, Lamont will sneak past him in the primary by pointing out that he is dead.	Lamont is simply a loser.