THE EARMARK

Stop what you’re doing, call your broker, and put in a “buy” order on Honda, Hyundai, Toyota, Mercedes… any car company as long as it’s not American!

Allow us to explain: President Obama has named Ron Bloom as his new chief advisor on the automobile industry, and if past appointments are any indication, Bloom is going to be a walking, talking advertisement for a foreign-made car.  Just check the published stats and you’ll see that the road to Obama’s cabinet is full of speed-traps for anyone caught driving domestic.

Consider the cars of current administration members…

- Timothy Geithner: Acura TSX

- Larry Summers: Mazda Protégé

- Peter Orszag: Honda Odyssey and Volvo S60

- Austin Goolsbee: Toyota Highlander

- New auto task force leader Brian Deese: Honda Civic

- Steven Rattner, the financially-shady bureaucrat that Bloom is replacing: Mercedes-Benz 350

You’ll admit that although Ron Bloom’s ride of choice has yet to be publicly revealed, the odds are looking pretty good for Germany and Japan.  In fact, when all is said and done, the only two administrators still driving American might be Obama himself (Ford Escape Hybrid) and VP Joe Biden (1981 Trans Am with Night Ranger in the tape deck.)

Let the record stand that none of this would have happened under a John McCain administration.  In fact, all imports would have probably been cut off by this point due to the ongoing war with Spain.  And if party leaders had allowed McCain to pick Joe Lieberman as his VP, there would have been a whole fleet of colorfully adorned PT Cruisers in the White House parking lot as well!

[In the interest of full disclosure, none of us here at The Earmark drive American, either.  But if no one from our site is appointed to at least Secretary of Labor by the end of Obama's first term, we're just going to give up and finally indulge ourselves with one of those dreamy Pontiac Azteks we've been holding off on.]