THE EARMARK

They said it couldn’t be done.  “They” were either wrong or didn’t know there was an election last week.

Dean Murray, an organizer for the Tea Party movement and winner of a special election, takes office today in New York’s state assembly.

Now some of you hear “tea party” and think of a bunch of fringe activists hyperventilating into bullhorns on state house lawns, pausing only to force their elected leaders to recite the pledge of allegiance. But starting today, the movement’s members can finally shed that image and let us see them for what they really are:

Republicans.

Today is also a big day for the New York legislature, which is excited about any news that doesn’t involve domestic violence by its members.  And who could forget Murray himself– soon about to experience life on the other side of an unruly mob.

But most importantly, this inauguration cracks the door to every fringe movement that wants a voice in government.  With the Tea Party now ensconced in New York’s 3rd district, who on Earth could deny power to…

• Incompetent corporate executives?
• Plumbers making over $250,000 a year?
• Robots?
• The legally insane?

We say bring them all on board.  It doesn’t matter who they are or how little they know about government.  In fact, the less experience the better!  It’s well worth it to watch novice after novice leapfrog Alan Keyes in the quest to actually win an election.

We here at The Earmark are delighted to see Joe “The Plumber” The Plumber back in the news again.  It seems like years since we were reporting on:

• His B. Dalton-packing book tour.
• His ground-breaking research in the field of Early Republic scholarship.
• His hard-charging journalistic career.
• His narrow escape from Barack Obama’s Death Panel.
• And who could forget … his country music career.

Well, now he’s tossing us some more low-hanging fruit in the form of an angry diatribe against John McCain!  Yes, the same John McCain who plucked him from YouTube obscurity and made him the iconic embodiment of the typical American working man (who apparently makes over $250,000 a year).

Here’s Joe the Plumber on his benefactor:

John McCain is no public servant. … I don’t owe him shit.  He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.

We’re not 100% sure why Joe is so mad at McCain - perhaps at some campaign event, the candidate got upset and threatened to give him a “switchin’.”  But we do know the best way to get revenge: meet McCain on his own turf.

By running for Congress.