Dan Quayle Rears His Ugly Head

Author: Ethan Ris  |  Category: Obama Administration, Republicans

quaylegolfFearless paparazzi have risked life and limb to capture the images that have shaped the world and defined generations: Gary Hart’s cavortings on a yacht, Princess Diana’s embrace of her sons, Lindsay Lohan’s unappetizing lady bits.  And now, they have captured the ultimate prize …

Dan Quayle playing golf.

The elusive former Vice President surfaced briefly this weekend in order to play in a “celebrity” golf tournament, along with the likes of Joe Buck and the guy who played Carlton on Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Tragically, Quayle lost the tournament to former Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Rick Rhoden, but he presumably managed to accomplish some of his other goals, like scoring some free pigs-in-a-blanket and talking up his book enough to get it out of 2,025,715th place on Amazon.com.

Oh, and also he gave an interview to the Associated Press in which he announced the following:

  1. The Obama presidency is the product of Democratic strategists who “just tried to throw everything out there and see what stuck.”
  2. Hillary Clinton is lazy.
  3. Obama’s primary task is to silence the liberal wing of his party.

Thanks, Mr. Vice President!  Next time we need some more commentary on national politics, we’ll head straight to you.  After all, your words of wisdom did wonders for Sarah Palin.

Actually, on second though maybe we’ll check with Carlton first.

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5 Responses to “Dan Quayle Rears His Ugly Head”

  1. Marlena in FL Says:

    I wonder how Quayle felt when more people recognized Joe Buck and Carlton than recognized him.

  2. Lee Says:

    Can’t wait to see Sarah Palin resurface at a third-rate golf tournament 20 years from now.

  3. Paul Says:

    But not pigs-in-blankets. Potatoe pancakes, no?

  4. Cube Says:

    “Lindsay Lohan’s unappetizing lady bits…” Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout Ethan? Leave her alone. She’s like our Meryl Mutherfuckin’ Streep.

    Have you seen the horror flick on TV where she has a stump and straddles some guy and you get to see side boob and it’s really cool and actually forces you to watch the whole thing? No. Palin 2012.

  5. Milton Hebald Says:

    Aint you guys afeared of bein libel-sued by one or another of these public boobs in high places ?

    more power to youse ! courage!

    Milton

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