THE EARMARK

Here’s a shocker for you!  Sen. Roland Burris (D-IL) is exiting the 2010 race for his Senate seat.  This is truly an earth-shattering decision, as Burris was certain to win the election based on the factors overwhelmingly in his favor:

1. A possibly illegal appointment by an incredibly corrupt governor who appeared to be wearing a wet cat on his head.
2. A formidable campaign war chest of $845.
3. An impressive 5% standing in the polls.
4. An unbelievably pathetic campaign website.

And yet, he is stepping aside to allow a new man or woman to continue his important work of avoiding constituents and eating lunch.

Burris’ selflessness brings to mind the ancient Roman emperor Cincinnatus, who was called upon to serve his nation in a time of crisis, which he did nobly, and then humbly stepped down after his duty was completed.

The only difference is that Cincinnatus returned to his family farm when his work was done, whereas Burris will undoubtably be headed to Costa Rica to join Patti Blagojevich on the set of I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!

Tags: Rod Blagojevich, Roland Burris