THE EARMARK

Take yourself back to Election Day 2008 and ask yourself what, at the time, would seem more plausible?

a) June 30, 2009 would be the day Norm Coleman conceded his Senate race.

b) On this same date, Joe the Plumber would still be in the news.

Fortunately both are correct answers!  Well, we’ve already heard about Norm, but good ol’ Joe (whose watch stopped running 14 minutes and 59 seconds after he bought it) dropped another nugget of wisdom on our proverbial front lawn over the weekend.  It comes in the form of this remark about the Founding Fathers’ economic ideology…

Referring to the Constitution as “almost like the Bible,” Wurzelbacher said of the Founding Fathers: “They knew socialism doesn’t work. They knew communism doesn’t work.”

The only problem here is that the Constitution was completed in 1787, while communist ideology did not formally exist until the 1848 publishing of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto.  Translation from the original Plumber-ese: Not only were the Founding Fathers economic visionaries, they were able to time-travel!

Now in truth, said Founding Fathers were mostly against the economic system wherein a king gets everyone’s possessions, declares ill-conceived wars, and generally acts like a lunatic.  Yet it seems to us that this king-based system fits in nicely with Joe’s own political dispositions, as it very clearly does not involve “spreading the wealth around.”

Joe concluded his comments by praising the Founding Fathers for never betting on baseball, never spamming anyone online, and never abusing crystal meth.

Tags: Joe the Plumber